Horses In Heaven
by PhantomFanfics
Summary: Jace and Clary dated for awhile in high school he got his big break to play in the NFL and left New York, Clary didn't tell him she was pregnant, now her five year old son was diagnosed with cancer and his wish is to meet his favorite football player. How will they react seeing each other? And has Clary told her son who his father really is?
1. Chapter 1 Wishes

**Jace and Clary dated for awhile in high school he got his big break to play in the NFL and left New York, Clary didn't tell him she was pregnant, now her five year old son was diagnosed with cancer and his wish is to meet his favorite football player. How will they react seeing each other? And has Clary told her son who his father really is?**

 **Clary's Pov**

"Mason how are you feeling today?" Tony asked Mason opened his eyes and struggled to keep them open.

"I'm okay." He whispered.

"What's the pain level at today my man."

"Seven." He said his breath was slow and even. "Mommy?"

"Yeah baby boy?"

"Am I gonna get my wish today?"

"Wish?" I asked and Tony Mason's nurse nodded.

"We talked about Make A Wish remember?"

"Oh yeah.. Did Mason finally make up his mind?"

"...Yeah." He said struggling to sit up.

"And what did you decide?"

"He wants to meet Jace Herondale, he plays for the Chicago Bears."

"J-Jace Herondale?" I said and dropped my head this was a joke right? It had to be a joke some kind of cosmic joke.

"Yeah mommy he's an awesome football player." He said and started to cough.

"Hmmm, never heard of him before."

"Because you don't like football."

"You're right, I don't." I said and he laughed.

"I'm hot." He said and I pulled his blanket off of him.

"How about we take the hat off?"

"I like it on."

"No one here will say anything about your hair, I promise." I said and he sighed but pulled his hat off revealing his bald head I leaned over and kissed his head and he smiled at me.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I leave?"

"Mas, you are gonna be fine you're gonna grow up and live a long and healthy life."

"I'm gonna die."

"Don't say that."

"Do you think my father cares?"

"What?"

"That i'm dying."

"Mason he-"

"I know mommy, I know… I'm tired.." He said blinking a few times.

I ended up falling asleep in a chair next to him for a few hours and was awoken by the sound of crying. "Hey baby what's wrong?"

"My stomach hurts mommy." He said with tears in his eyes.

"Okay." I said and picked him up and let him lay on me I pressed the button for the nurse to come in and I something hit my arm.

"I'm sorry." Mason said and then threw up on me and I just kept him close singing softly into his ear so he wouldn't freak out. "Are you mad?"

"Trust me Mas you have done worse on me, i'm fine." I said and he reached up and touched my cheek.

"I'm strong." He said and I nodded with tears in my eyes.

"You are so strong."

"I don't want to die." He said when April the night nurse came in and looked at him she was a new nurse here and it was the second time I ever seen her she seems nice.

"Hey, that is not the kind of talking we want to hear is it?"

"No ma'am."

"You will beat this." She said and he nodded. "How about you go get cleaned up and i'll watch over him." She said to me and I nodded.

By the time I got back into the room he was asleep again with his Iron Man toy on his chest and a book next to him. I sat down and April looked up at me. "How long have you two been here at St. Jude's?"

"A month after his fourth birthday he was complaining his bones were tired I told him it was because he was playing all day, the next day he was still saying it was hurting and I got mad at him and told him he was fine, we went to a pool party and he had these bruises on his legs I didn't know how he got them so I took him to the E.R and they did so many test and the doctor came and said 'we are bringing an oncologist to talk to you' and my whole world fell apart and that's when they told me he had acute lymphoblastic leukemia, I didn't have the money to pay for hospital bills and treatments and stuff so they told me about St. Jude's and we flew to Memphis the next day and we have been here ever since."

"And Mason's father? If you don't mind me asking?"

"I never told him about Mason, he had such big dreams and a baby in high school would of definitely broke all the dreams."

"You are a really good mother." She said and tears came to my eyes she stood up and hugged me tightly.

"You have a strong amazing little boy and I will be here with you guys until he walks out that door cancer free." She said.

I laid down next to Mason on his bed and listened to the steady beeping of the monitors and was so thankful that I had my son for one more day I kissed his head and put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

 **Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2 Father and Son

**Okay so there was some confusion with what Jace does he plays football.. I had originally had it as basketball but I realized I know nothing about basketball so I changed it and some places still said basketball so I changed it and i'm sorry for the confusion... I was gonna have Jace come in a few chapters later but I really wanted him in the story and I like how it turned out.**

It's been a few weeks since Mason said he wanted to meet Jace I kept trying to get him to change his mind but when he sets his mind to something he sticks to, he's like his father stubborn as hell I was watching him sleep the chemo taking everything out of him most days he could barely open his eyes but he always smiled no matter how much pain he was in, I once asked him why which answered so you don't have to feel so sad all the time, it only made me break down and cry even more.

"Clary." April said with a smile.

"Oh hi are you leaving?"

"Yeah I am, there is a visitor for Mason."

"Wh-" I was cut off by a shimmer of golden hair I looked at Mason and stood up and left the room.

"Hi my names-" He started to introduce himself but he stopped when he seen me. "C-Clary?"

"What are you doing here."

"Make A Wish contacted me and I didn't want someone wasting a wish on me so I came here and was gonna visit the kid and a few other kids here… What are you doing here?" He asked and looked around.

"That's not really any of your business is it?"

"Do you have to be like that? Can't we be friends?" He asked and I laughed.

" _Friends_ -"

"Oh Mr. Herondale I take it you met Clary, her son Mason is the one who wanted to meet you." One of Mason's doctors said with a smile and Jace shifted his gaze back to me.

"You have a son?"

"Yeah."

"Wow I uh didn't know you were a-" He stopped and looked at the doctors then back to me realizing where we were his eyes softened and he looked at me. "I'm so sorry."

"My son he's a big fan, before he got sick that's all he talked about was football and his favorite player.. He never said your name just your number."

"And his father is he in the picture?"

"No he uh-"

"Mason is awake and asking for you." Tony said and I nodded.

"It was nice seeing you." I said and he grabbed my hand.

"Can I meet him?"

"He hasn't been feeling good-"

"Please?" He asked and I walked in the room with Jace following behind me.

"Hi…. Mommy." Mason whispered with his eyes still closed, they had put a feeding tube in because he refused to touch his food for three days he has complained about the tube made his nose feel weird.

"Someone is here to meet you." I said and he opened his eyes and I was meet with his father's golden eyes.

"Who?" He whispered and I pointed towards Jace and Mason turned and looked at him and when he finally noticed who was in the room he smiled. "Am I dreaming?"

"No sweet boy you aren't dreaming." I said and Jace came a little closer his hands were in his pockets as he looked down at Mason.

"Hello, i'm Jace it's nice to meet you."

"I'm Mason." He said and sat up slowly, Jace sat down beside him. "You have golden eyes too." Mason said.

"Too?"

"Mommy says I got my eyes from my dad, he doesn't care i'm dying."

"Mason William Fairchild." I said and he looked at me.

"What mommy he doesn't he would of been with us by now if he cared and he doesn't." He said and crossed his arms, Jace was looking at the floor.

"Okay but does that give you the right to bring stuff up in front of strangers?"

"I'm just upset." He said and looked back at Jace. "I'm sorry." He said and Jace looked at him and smiled.

"It's okay… Look I uh have to talk to your mother right away and then i'll be right back okay?"

"Is everything okay?" He asked looking at me and then at Jace.

"Everything's…. Fine…" He stood up and stalked out of the room.

"I'll be right back."

"Did I make him mad?"

"No bubba, I did."

"How you didn't even talk to him." He said and I kissed his head and ran out into the hallway.

"Jace-"

"Don't. Don't you dare try and lecture me with excuses."

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"Why you don't want anyone to know?" He asked throwing his hands in the air.

"I'm not gonna do this with you out in the open." I said and he nodded.

"Just answer the question… Is that my son?"

"Jace please."

"Answer the question Clary." He said his voice serious and frightening.

"I'm sorry." I said and tilted his head back and he laughed with no trace of humor.

"He's what five?" I didn't answer just nodded. "You had five fucking years to call me, wait let me guess you lost my number?" He yelled and I grabbed his hand pulling him towards a family waiting room and closed the door once we were both in.

"You don't get to do that Jace it's your fault we broke up."

"You don't think a baby would have factored into my decision to break up?"

"You didn't want to stay with me Jace!" I yelled. "I knew it would and then you'd just end up hating me because you didn't get to do what you wanted to do because you had a fucking baby and a girlfriend to come home to so no I didn't tell you, I did it by myself I raised a beautiful little boy for four years and that's all I might get Jace that's all I might get." I said and dropped to the floor.

"He's five… Why did you say four?"

"This isn't living Jace, this is existing he's been here nearly two years and there isn't much more they can do for him… The chemo isn't working anymore the cancer comes back stronger when he goes into remission and he is getting tired so tired and I can't keep putting him through that he tries so hard to be brave for me but he wants to give up I know he does but he stays strong for me."

"So what you're gonna give up?"

"I gonna keep fighting for my son until his very last breath."

"He has both our genes you know what that means right? He's a fighter, and a Herondale and we don't go down without a fight."

"I wanted to tell you but after our last conversation we had I was so scared.."

"Clary-"

"You can hate me all you want Jace but Mason he's a good kid and he deserves a good father who can be there for him through this… You don't have to be that you can go and forget all about us and go back to your big famous life where everyone knows who you are." I said and stood up and opened the door and looked back at him. "But if you are gonna be in his life, being there for him isn't a part time job." I said and left and walked back to my little man's room wondering what Jace's answer will be.


	3. Chapter 3 Horses

**For anyone wondering this entire fanfic is based off of Terry Fator's song Horses In Heaven I was gonna make it into a oneshot songfic but I had so much I wanted to do with this story and I might add a different ending from the song but I may keep it the same so listen to the song and let me know if that's how you want the story to end or if you want a 'happier' ending and we get Jaces Pov in this to see how he is coping with a son and Mason finds out Jace is his dad**

 **Jace's Pov**

I sat down in a chair after Clary left the room I was terrified, not only do I have a son and that's terrifying on it's own he had cancer I kept trying to force myself to stand up and walk into that room I knew I had to go in there and be there for him, he thinks his father is some asshole who never wanted him and doesn't care that he has cancer… I can't let my son die thinking I hate him, I never thought that I would say any of that in my entire life I never thought of having kids and if I did I never would have thought there would be a chance my child would die before me, I leaned back in the chair and looked up the room had painted clouds on the ceiling tears came to my eyes as I thought of him trapped in this place where he was being poked and tore up. My phone started to ring I pulled it out and seen Izzy's name flash across and I smiled a little bit she always seemed to cheer me up when I was feeling bad.

"Hey Izzy.."

"Hey so I just wanted to know what time you are going to the airport so I know what time to leave my house to pick you up."

"I-I don't think i'm gonna leave."

"Jace you have a game tomorrow, this is why I wanted to come so you wouldn't meet a girl and waist time my dear brother."

"I'm not waiting time. I have to stay."

"Give me one good reason why you want to stay?"

"My son."

"Your what? Jace please, please tell me you didn't have a fling last time you were here and got some random chick pregnant?"

"No."

"Then tell me what's going on!"

"I met my son today and he thinks I don't care that he's-"

"Stop… I'm confused Jace you don't have any kids let alone a girlfriend and no I don't consider her your girlfriend she wants to be your trophy wife and you are too dumb to see that and oh my god if she's pregnant I will kill you."

"Clary." I said and I could hear her cough.

" _Clary_? As in the Clary you completely destroyed when you broke up with her, Clary?"

"Yeah when we broke up she was pregnant and my son he's.."

"I have a nephew?" She said and I could tell she was excited. "Ohhh I need to meet him does he have your hair or your eyes?"

"He has my eyes but I don't know about the hair."

"What do you mean?"

"He's sick Iz."

"With like a cold or flu?"

"Cancer." I said and it was silent I have never known Izzy for having nothing to say and then I heard my mother's voice.

"Jace what did you do to your sister?" She asked and I could hear Izzy crying now.

"Mom I can't come home for awhile.."

"Why not? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"You remember Clary right?"

"Of course I remember her she was over at the house everyday until you broke her poor heart."

"She came to tell me something when I broke up with her."

"What did she want to tell you?"

"I have a son mom." I said and it was silent again.

"Your sister is not crying happy tears Jace did something happen to him or Clary?"

"H-he has cancer mom, he's not doing really good and I just- I can't leave him- I can't do it I can't let him die and not let him know i'm his-" I stopped talking when I said that and silent tears started to fall down my face.

"You take your time with your son I will talk to everyone and keep them at bay until you can come back."

"Thank you mom and can you have Izzy call me back when she calms down some."

"Sweetie Alec, Magnus, and Max just got here and they are all asking Izzy why she's crying and I don't think I can lie to them.."

"It's okay mom you can tell them. I have to go but i'll talk to you later okay?"

After I got off the phone I walked back to the room I didn't notice it before but there was a drawing on his door it was of a horse and stars and a someone riding a horse and above that in big letters it said Mason in different colors I walked in the room and Clary had her eyes closed and he was holding a stuffed horse he looked up at me and smiled. "Mommy didn't know if you were coming back."

"I had a few calls to make."

"I'm glad you're here I don't get many visitors."

"You don't?"

"Just my mom and uncle Simon he went home for his sister's wedding I wanted to go but i'm too sick." He said sadly.

"You're still here." Clary said sitting up.

"I'm not here part time." I said and she gave me a sad smile.

"What are you guys talking about?" Mason asked.

"Bubba you know how you said a few months ago how you wanted to meet your dad."

"Yeah but you said-"

"I was wrong Mas."

"So I get to meet my dad, when?"

"Right now." She said and looked at me.

"Hey…" I waved and he looked at me and then Clary and then back to me.

"This isn't funny mommy."

"I'm not kidding boo.. Jace is your dad."

"My dad is a famous football player." He said looking down and then he jumped up and ran towards me and jumped up.

"Mason! Be careful." I looked at her and she pushed his IV machine towards him.

"You really are my dad?" He asked smiling.

"Yeah I am and I do care about you that's why i'm staying here for awhile."

"Are you serious?" He asked and I nodded he put his head down on my shoulder and sighed happily. "Uh-oh."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't feel too good." He said and Clary moved towards me and pulled him away from me and he threw up all over her. "I'm sorry mommy."

"Like I told you the last time you threw up on me, you've done much worse on me."

"One time when I was small I had an accident on mommy because it was the first time on my medicine. I cried because I felt bad but mommy didn't get mad at me." He said and Clary placed him in bed and hit the nurse button.

"Can you watch him while I get changed?"

"...Yeah…"

"What's the problem little man?" Someone asked when they came in the room.

"I don't feel good…" Mason responded tiredly.

"What were you doing?"

"I ran to my dad."

"Your-" He looked at me and then back to Mason. "I don't think we have ever met in the two years i've known him."

"I uh just uh…"

"Mommy never told him about me." Mason said shrugging.

"I don't think Clary told you this but he's not really suppose to be out of bed right now he just had his third round of chemotherapy and it's taken a lot out of him so that's why he's been throwing up but he's getting better right little man?" He high fived him and laid down.

"Do you think there are horses in heaven?" He asked when the nurse left.

"Huh?"

"I'd like to know if there are horses in heaven before I die."

"Hey don't talk like that."

"I like to think there are horses in heaven I wish I knew how to ride them." He said picking up his horse. "Mommy says she will take me when I get better but what if I don't?"

"Mason-"

"I want to get better dying is scary sometimes when they give me the chemo I can't speak because i'm so tired all the time I can't leave the room most of the time because i'm too weak and mommy cries when she thinks i'm asleep she's here all alone she has no one to hold her and say I will be okay and I can't leave her, I don't want to leave her." He said and Clary came back in the room.

"You okay bubba?"

"Yeah mommy i'm fine." He said and smiled.

"Try and get some sleep okay baby?" He nodded and Clary pulled me out of the room. "How long are you staying?"

"Uh I don't know."

"I'm asking because they are gonna start a cycle and that means he's gonna have one week of chemo and then they are gonna let him rest for three weeks and I just want to know if you are gonna stay or go back home and do your job or whatever."

"My mom is trying to get me some time off so I can be here and I want to be here for him and you, you don't have to do this alone."

"Did you tell her that he has cancer?"

"Yeah I did… Was I not suppose to tell her?"

"No i'm glad you did."

"I told Izzy too so you might want to expect her here tomorrow or something." I said and she laughed.

"Jace but right now he's good it gets bad really bad and I don't know if you-"

"I have to be here Clary I missed the first five years of his life…. If worse comes to worst I will not miss his last."

"Thank you for being here." She said and kissed my cheek and went back into the room.

 **The rest of the gang will make an appearance in the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4 Meet The Family

**So I did Isabelle's Pov from after the phone call and them telling everyone about Mason but I don't know if I will do more in there Pov's but if you guys would like me to I will try and we get Mason's Pov for the first time**

 **Isabelle's Pov**

I don't remember the last time I cried and I don't think I have ever cried this hard mom was talking to Jace asking what he did to me and I know he told her about his son because she closed her eyes and silent tears started to fall she talked to him in a softly, Alec and Magnus had walked in the room laughing at a joke Max my little brother just made when he seen me and he stopped laughing and ran to me. "What's wrong Izzy?"

"What's going on?" Alec asked.

"Goodbye Jace, I love you too i'll tell her." Mom said and hung up.

"Is everything okay?" Max asked his big gray eyes full of concern.

"Why doesn't everyone sit down." She said.

"Is Jace okay did something happen to him?"

"Jace is fine but-"

"Did someone die?" Max asked and I bit my lip in order to not burst into tears again.

"Do you guys remember Clary?" She asked and Magnus' eyes went wide he always had a soft spot for Clary.

"Is she okay?" Magnus asked and Alec grabbed his hand holding it tightly.

"When she and Jace broke up she never told him something and well-"

"Was she pregnant?" Alec asked and mom just nodded. "And Jace found out?" She nodded again and looked to me. "I don't get it I mean what's there to be sad about? Sure we missed the first few years but-"

"He's sick Alec." I said and he frowned.

"Sick how?"

"He has cancer." Mom said and Alec's face expression changed he looked at the floor and took a deep breath. "Jace is going to stay at the hospital with him and Clary for awhile."

"What about football?" Max asked.

"I don't know what i'm gonna do.. I can call the coach and tell them he needs some personal time but they will ask why."

"Well Jace is known for leading a very private life so maybe the media won't dig too deep into this." Magnus said but we all knew it was just a matter of time.

"Are we gonna go visit Jace?" Max asked and mom nodded.

"Your brother wants you to call him when things have calmed down some.

 **Clary's Pov**

It's been a few days since Jace decided to stay and it's amazing having someone by my side to lean on when Mason has his bad days. I didn't want to get to use to having Jace here since I knew he had a life he was going to eventually go back too. "How is he?"

"He's feeling pretty good today." I said and looked over to him he was watching a video on my phone laughing.

"That's good because he's gonna have a long day."

"What why?" I asked he didn't have anything to do today.

"My family is here and they really want to meet him." He said.

"I can see if they will let him go outside so everyone doesn't have to be stuck in this room."

"When was the last time he was allowed to go outside?"

"It's been months." I said and went to Tony and we talked for a little while and he said Mason could go outside but he wasn't allowed to walk and he had to wear a mask I hugged him tightly and went back into the room Jace and Mason were talking about football. "So he said yes Mas just has to wear a mask."

"I don't like wearing masks mommy." He whined.

"You have to bubba."

"Why?"

"You get to go outside." I said and he pushed the covers off of him and grabbed his hat up it on and raised his hands for me to pick him up.

"Come on mommy." He said and I smiled and looked over to Jace who was smiling also.

"Maybe your dad wants to carry you."

"Do you?" He asked and Jace stood up and picked him up Mason wrapped his arms around Jace and sighed happily.

One of the things Mason usually loved was the wagons that he'd get pushed in but when I asked him if he wanted to get in one he shook his head. "I want daddy to hold me." He said softly as Jace helped him put the mask on his face.

"Do you want me to bring one just in case?" I asked and he nodded. I put his blanket in there and we went outside.

"It's so beautiful." He said you couldn't see his mouth but I could tell he was smiling it's been over four months since this sweet little boy was able to go outside, his immune system has been really weak and we didn't want to chance it.

"So there are some people who want to meet you today." I said.

"Who?" He asked and I looked at Jace for him to explain.

"Your grandma and your uncles and aunt."

"I have a grandma, and uncles and aunts?" He asked and he looked at me. "Mommy we have a family."

"Yeah you do."

"Where are they?"

"They are out here and we are gonna go meet them is that okay with you?"

"Yeah come on daddy go faster." Mason said patting Jace's back and Jace just laughed.

 **Jace's Pov**

There was a little picnic spot outside by the little park here at the hospital where kids can come out and play and forget about all there problems Izzy jumped up when she seen me and everyone looked over as I approached them with Mason in my arms. "Hey everybody." I said and Mason lifted his head up but he didn't turn around.

"What if they don't like me."

"They will love you." I said and he nodded and turned around and everyone just stared at him.

"Hello Mason i'm Isabelle i'm your dad's sister." She said and he waved to her.

"It's nice to meet you." He said softly he looked over to Max and waved. "Hi.."

"Hello."

"I'm Mason."

"I'm Max.. I'm your uncle the coolest one you have." Max said and Alec laughed.

"Yeah right don't listen to him Mason I am the coolest uncle you have."

"Oh Alec I love you but you wish you would be as cool as an uncle as I will be." Magnus said and Mason laughed, I sat down with him on my lap he was introducing himself to my mom when I looked over and seen Clary and Izzy hugging and crying.

"Wanna go play over there?" Max asked and Mason shook his head.

"I can't walk very well right now." He said and Max got up and took the wagon and rolled it next to him.

"Want me to push you?" He asked and Mason looked over to Clary.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah bubba?"

"Can Max push me around?"

"Yeah but uh Max can you please make sure he keeps his mask on please?"

"I'm not gonna take it off." He said crossing his arms.

"Of course not." She said sarcastically.

"Jace did the coach call you?"

"Yeah I haven't gotten to calling him back yet."

"He called mom and said you needed to come back or they will drop you."

"Drop me? I have a contract."

"And i'm pretty sure showing up is in the contract."

"I have a good reason for not being there."

"We all know that but they don't know that they think you're just sitting at home doing nothing."

"So basically you're saying I have to tell everyone about Mason."

"Mom and I were talking and we think it's a good idea it will give you more time to be with your son and it will get the coach off your back."

"And you don't think the media would have a field day with finding out I have a son I knew nothing about for-"

"They don't need to know you didn't know about him just say you wanted to keep him out of the spotlight since he was so sick or something… It's your career on the line here and I know a career probably means nothing to you right now because of Mason but to a lot of people it does mean something."

"I know I just I can't leave him not yet."

"Just know that if you do, we will be here for Clary and Mason they won't have to go through this alone."

"Thanks Alec."

"That's what brothers are for."

 **Mason's Pov**

I was only allowed to stay outside for a certain amount of time so when I had to go back inside daddy stayed to talk with his family he said he'd be in soon and mommy and my aunt Isabelle took me back to my room, they had to wash there hands before I could take my mask off so I wouldn't get sick. "So Mason what color is your hair?" Isabelle asked.

"Someday's it would looks red and someday's it would looks blonde but most of the time everyone says it's blonde…. I miss my hair."

"Oh yeah was it short?" She asked and I shook my head. "It was long?"

"Yeah down to here." I said touching my shoulder and she smiled.

"Your hair was that long?"

"Yeah I didn't want mommy to cut it and she loved my curls and then I got sick and my hair started to fall out and I was really sad but I didn't just want it to keep falling out so we shaved my head and mommy held me because I was crying."

"Can I see what you look like without the hat?" She asked and I shook my head again I was scared. "I bet you look very handsome." She said and I smiled and slowly pulled my hat off. "And I was right." She said and she leaned over and kissed my head.

"How was it outside?" Tony asked and started to hook me back up to my machines.

"It was fun I got to meet my family."

"I'm glad you had fun." He said and took my temperature.

"How is it?" Mommy asked.

"A little high but nothing to be concerned about." Tony said and mommy nodded.

"When is daddy coming back?"

"He's in the cafeteria getting lunch would you like something?" Isabelle asked.

"No thank you I have my own." I said and she looked confused I lifted my shirt up and showed her my feeding tube that they put in a few days ago. "It goes right to my stomach."

"They had to put that in because he refused to eat they had an NG tube in but he complained it was hurting to much."

"What's that?"

"It goes in your nose all the way down to your stomach and I hated it." I stated and mommy laughed at me.

"I know you did. You need to try and get some sleep okay you are gonna have a long day tomorrow."

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"He's getting a few MRIs and some blood drawn and a few other things done to check and see if the chemo is working." Mommy said and she looked at me with sad eyes I didn't like when she looked sad I wish I could get better so we can be happy again and maybe even be a family, me mommy and daddy i'd like that very much.

 **So I don't know how Jace will tell people about Mason but in the next chapter the world will find out he has a son with cancer so let me know how he should tell people and maybe a little Clace next chapter?**


	5. Chapter 5 A Chance For A Happy Family

**There will be a flashback in the next chapter telling how and why Clary and Jace broke up and how she felt when she found out she was pregnant**

 **Jace's Pov**

The steady beeping of machines brought me out of a deep sleep I looked over to Mason who was sound asleep with stuffed animals all in his hospital bed, I looked over to Clary who was twitching in her sleep she was frowned and shaking I went over next to her and shook her silently and she gasped and sat up with tears in her eyes she looked over to Mason and breathed a sigh of relief. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah just a bad dream." She said and I looked over at Mason and then back to Clary.

"Can we go to the cafeteria and talk maybe?" I asked and she nodded and stood up and we left Mason's room.

"Is something wrong?"

"My coach says if I don't come back they will end up dropping me."

"Oh…" She said and stood up.

"Wait where are you going?"

"You're leaving and if Mason wakes up and you're just gone-"

"I'm not leaving."

"But you said."

"He thinks i'm just sitting at home doing nothing… But i'm gonna tell him about Mason if that's okay with you I mean I know that you probably don't want him in the spotlight with everything that's happening but-"

"You wanted this your entire life Jace and i'd never want to take that away from you… I mean do I want everyone up in our business especially when our son is sick no, but it's better to just tell them the truth instead of them snooping around and finding it out some other way and then it just makes you look like a dick in the end if you wait."

"Thank you that means a lot." I said and she nodded.

"Before you leave can you say goodbye to Mason though? I don't want him to think you just disappeared."

"Of course."

"Are you going back to Chicago?"

"No, we actually have a game here in Tennessee today so I won't be gone for super long only a few hours I didn't want to leave the state in case something happened." I said and she smiled.

"I'll text you and let you know how the MRI goes and everything." She said and I was thankful we were finally getting it done we were suppose to have it done the day after my family came but Mason had gotten really sick and didn't even want to get out of bed now he was feeling so much better so after a week and a half of waiting he was finally getting it.

"Thanks." I said and we ate breakfast silently together and went back to Mason's room he was awake and crying Clary rushed over to him.

"What's wrong bubba?"

"You and daddy were gone I was scared." He said and my heart sped up, he hasn't been calling me daddy for long so whenever he said it I couldn't help but feel joy knowing I was someone's father that I helped bring a precious life into this world.

"We are sorry buddy.. Mommy and I went to get breakfast." I said and he nodded and wiped his tears away.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you and I go for a walk today?" He asked and I felt shitty for leaving now.

"Daddy has a game tonight." She said and I looked at her.

"Clary I didn't say I was gonna play today-"

"I'm not letting you give up everything Jace."

"I was going there to tell my coach I need some time off."

"And don't your fans deserve to give you a farewell for a little while?" She asked and I nodded but still felt really really crappy, I looked over to Mason and he had tears in his eyes again.

"I don't want you to leave us daddy."

"I'm not leaving Mason i'm never leaving you guys ever again.. Daddy just has to go to work today and then I will be back okay?" He nodded but I could tell he was still sad.

Walking into sports zone I was confused as to why Hodge would want to meet me here so when I seen him he ushered me onto a stage where cameras were in my face and there were interviewers sitting on the couch opposite of us. "We are here with Jace Herondale who has been MIA for almost two weeks."

"I figured since you said you had a good reason to be missing out on your career you would like to share this information with everyone." Hodge said and I laughed without a trace of humor I was pissed but I knew if he knew the truth he wouldn't be doing this, he thinks he can embarrass me because he thinks I have been sitting at home doing nothing.

"I've had a rough couple of weeks, I recently found out that I have this amazingly wonderful bright son who brings a smile to everyone he meets.. I've been getting to know him this week and I don't know how much more time I will get to keep learning about all the things he's experienced in the five years of his life because while i'm sitting here he's getting an MRI to see if the cancer in his body is dying, while i'm sitting here he's wondering why daddy isn't here to hold mommy while she cries. That's where I have been for the past few weeks." I said bitterly and everyone was stunned in silence the angry was radiating off of me.

"I'm so-"

"I'll be playing today but it will be my last game this season.. I need to be there for my family." I said and pulled the microphone off that was clipped to my shirt I left in a hurry so reporters wouldn't crowd me and ask questions but to my surprise they all kind of just let me go without any hastle.

I went to the gym to try and keep my mind off things but when I got there all I wanted to do was go back to the hospital and be with Mason and Clary I didn't even want to go to the stupid game I knew I had to go but I wasn't gonna do any good with all my focus being on if Mason was going to be okay.

I hit the home button on my phone and smiled at the picture of Mason and I even though he wasn't feeling good he was still making jokes and he said he wanted us to have a picture together so my mom took it he had his mask on but you could tell he was making a funny face under the mask because he was squinting with one eye and his other eye was big and wide.

I was in the locker room getting ready for the game when my phone vibrated I picked it up quickly.

 _ **C: Hope your game goes well**_

 _ **J: Is Mason okay? How did the appointments go?**_

 _ **C: I don't want to ruin your game i'll talk to you when I see you okay?**_

 _ **J: Don't do that Clary I won't be able to concentrate if you don't tell me**_

 _ **C: Be patient**_

I threw my phone back into the locker and some of my teammates just looked at me with a very sad expression I know they seen because half of them have come up to me and told me how sorry they were. I walked out onto the field and it felt like a foreign place to me it always felt like home but now it just felt wrong to be here when my son needed me. "Jace?" Hodge said and I snapped out of it.

"Yeah?"

"Listen I just wanted to say i'm sorry for what happened today I had no idea and-"

"You had no way of knowing…."

"You do have an amazing girlfriend though." He said and I raised an eyebrow and he pointed behind me I turned around and I seen Clary standing by the bench were the rest of the team was and I ran towards her.

"Is everything okay? Is Mason okay?"

"I wanted to tell you in person." She said she had tears in her eyes and I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"What is he okay?"

"The MRI went amazing, chemo is working-" before she could say anything else I pulled her towards me and kissed her she was frozen at first but then I felt her body relax and her arms went around my neck. "They are gonna be starting his first cycle in three weeks they want to give his body time to recover before starts and that's not even the best part."

"What's the best part?"

"Turn around." She said and I slowly turned and seen him in Alec's arms he had his little mask on with dinosaurs all over it and he had on a Bears hat with my number the tears instantly came as I walked over to my little man and took him from Alec and held him tightly, everyone was cheering.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him and he smiled.

"Great." He said and I smiled. Clary came over and took Mason from me and they went and sat down to watch me play and now I felt good about the game knowing Mason was here and he was getting better.

 **Clary's Pov**

Jace's team one Mason had told Izzy it was because he was Jace's lucky charm everyone was hungry after the game so we were gonna go out and eat, Mason had a wheelchair since he still was too weak to walk but he asked Jace to carry him which Jace did without a second thought.

When we got back to the hospital Mason was out like a light Jace carefully put him back in his bed and took his mask off and sat back down and I looked at him and sighed. "What's wrong?"

"You kissed me.."

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because I-"

"You really hurt me Jace and I don't think I can ever forgive you."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me because I don't deserve your forgiveness not yet. I promise you I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you for everything that happened."

"I can't do this Jace we have Mason to think about-"

"So basically I just won't get to see him?"

"You can still see him but I just I don't think we can-"

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"Jace… I don't hate you but last time we dated-"

"We were young and I was a dick give me another chance Clary please baby."

"And how do I know this won't be different from last time Jace you broke my heart and then smashed it with a hammer and dumped it in a trash can." I said and he dropped his head.

"I'm sorry… Let me make it up to you."

"I'll think about it but for now I can't Jace how about we work on just being friend's first." I said and he nodded.


	6. Chapter 6 Positive Signs and Break Ups

**This chapter is short because its mainly about the past and what happened between them but Clary and Jace do have a conversation about it before the flashback happens i'm sorry its taken almost a week to update life's been kinda crazy right now..**

 **PupPup WoofWoof- I'm happy you and your friend like my story it means a lot since I was worried when I posted the first chapter that no one would like it**

 **Raven Speaks- I'm so happy your son is im remission and I pray it stays that way**

 **Jace's Pov**

Clary and I decided to take Mason to the zoo for the day and he loved it although he couldn't walk around as much as he'd of liked to he had fun I could see it in his eyes and I think Clary was having fun too. "Can we talk about last night?" I asked when we got back in the car Mason was asleep and I felt like things needed to be said. "Please?"

"Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?"

"I know I did."

"And you don't even give a shit."

"I was stupid back then Clary-"

"And that makes it right?"

"I never said that."

"Do you know how long I spent wondering what I did wrong?"

"I didn't want to have a long distance relationship and-"

"So you cheat on me?"

"We broke-"

"It was the very next day Jace! God do you know how that felt for me? Like you never even cared about me sure you said you loved me but if you can do that to me then you never loved me."

"I always loved you."

"You wouldn't of done that to me.." I reached over to touch her hand but she jerked away from me. "I made a promise to Mason when he was born and i'm not gonna break it anytime soon."

 **Clary's Pov**

 **Five and a half years ago…**

I don't know how long I stared at that positive sign on the stupid pregnancy test but it seemed like I was sitting there for years trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna do and how I was gonna tell Jace. We had been fighting for weeks now because he wants to play professional football and he says i'm not supportive enough in his dreams, I tried to ask him what he meant by that since all I ever did was support him by going to everyone of his games I had always been there for him and no matter what I did he always seemed to turn it around and make me out to be the bad guy.

"So what does it say?" Simon asked when I sat down on his bed. I had told him I thought I might be pregnant and I was to scared to be alone so I came over to his house and he's been patiently waiting for me to come back in the room.

"I fucked up Si…." I said and started to cry again and he moved over and hugged me tightly.

"It's okay we can work through this Clary, you will have me and Jace and everyone will be there for you."

"I don't even think Jace wants kids."

"Well there's only one way to find out." He said and pushed my phone towards me and I sighed and called Jace.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me, uh can we meet up somewhere and talk please?"

"Yeah there's something I wanted to talk to you about too." He said and told me where he was and I left Simon's feeling nervous and when I got to Takis Jace was talking to some girl she was smiling at him and he was leaning over whispering something in her ear.

"Excuse me." I said and Jace looked at me and moved away from her.

"That was fast."

"I was over at Simon's so I was close." I said and glared at the blonde who rolled her eyes and walked away. "What the hell was that?"

"We were just talking calm down." He said and I started to get angry.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Ladies first."

"I'd much rather hear what you have to say."

"I think we should break up."

"Wh- What? Where is this coming from?"

"All we do is fight and i'm gonna be leaving soon and i'd like to be single when I leave so I can experience new things." He said shrugging like it was nothing.

"I mean we can experience new things together." _Like raising a baby you dick._

"Clary I love you I really do but I just-"

"You just what? Afraid you will miss out on sleeping with trashy girls?"

"Don't be like that." He tried to take my hand but I pulled it away from him. "We can still be friends."

"Friends?" I laughed and shook my head. "I can't believe this is happening."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Nothing…" I said and stood up and ran out into the rain he didn't call for me or chase after me like he would when I would get mad at him.

"How did it go?" Simon asked when he answered the phone.

"He broke up with me."

"What? Because you're pregnant he broke up with you?"

"He broke up with me before I had a chance to tell him I was pregnant."

"Clary-"

"I'm just gonna go to sleep I can't deal with this right now." I hung up and cried myself to sleep with my hand protectively on my stomach.

When I woke up it was after ten so I decided to stay home from school because I couldn't deal with three classes with Jace and not burst out in tears.

I made my way to planned parenthood and when they took me back I got to see my little baby for the first time ever and when I heard the strong heartbeat I cried knowing my baby wasn't going to have a father and I didn't want that I wanted him or her to have a family a mom and dad to wake up on Christmas morning I wanted my baby to feel loved by both parents.

When I left I decided to go over to Jace's to try and tell him again and maybe this time he would listen to me and everything will work out, when I knocked on the door Izzy opened the door and her eyes were big and she looked inside and then back to me. "I called you like three times."

"I'm sorry I was busy, is Jace home?"

"He's uh upstairs." She said and opened the door.

"Why are you acting like-" I heard a girl's voice she was laughing and I looked at Izzy and her expression answered my unasked question and tears came to my eyes. "I have to go."

"Are you okay?"

"Thank you for calling me and trying to warn me…." I said and blinked because I refused to cry.

"I'm so sorry Clary I thought it was you and when I went in there to ask why you weren't at school and I seen it wasn't you I punched him and I called you but you didn't answer and-"

"I came over here to tell him something."

"What did you want to tell him?"

 _He will never see his child for as long as I live I swear to god he will never get to see this baby._ I wanted to say but instead I said. "That he's never gonna see me again, tell him that for me please."

"Clary someone's here for you." My dad yelled and I ran to the door thinking it was Simon but when I opened it Jace was standing there and I slammed it in his face and he knocked again.

"What the hell do you want."

"I never wanted to hurt you Clary."

"Oh that's the funniest thing I have heard all day."

"Clary-"

"Let's all pray you used a condom this time because the world doesn't need you as a father." I said and slammed the door again and this time I didn't open it again.

 **7 months later…**

The cries from my son filled the room and I started to cry as they laid him on me he was perfect in every way. "Hi Mason." I said when they brought him back to me all wrapped up. "I'm your mommy, it's just me and you kiddo and that's all we need Mas I promise you he will never come in your life and hurt you the way he hurt me." I said and Mason opened one eye and the familiar color of gold was looking up at me and I smiled at him. "Maybe you can be the best parts of your daddy." I kissed his chubby little cheek.


	7. Chapter 7 Father Son Chats

**I'm so sorry its taken so long to update life kind of got crazy my mom got into a really bad accident and she has been staying with my sister and I so we have been taking care of her she is finally doing well despite the fact she's in a wheelchair and has now been nicknamed 'hotwheels' by my sister and I she still has a scene of humor so I have been really busy lately and I apologize if my updates aren't as frequent as id like them to be but I hope everyone can bare with me for a little while.. Thank you**

 **Jace's Pov**

Mason was asleep and Clary was reading a book she kept glancing up at me and then back to her book I was gonna ask her if everything was alright when my phone vibrated in my pocket I looked at Clary who went back to reading and left the room quietly and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Jace?"

"Yeah who is this?"

"Really it's me Amanda." _Oh shit._

"Oh uh hey."

"Oh uh hey? Really?

"Look-"

"As your girlfriend it would of been nice to get a call and say hey I have a kid so yeah i'm gonna spend time with him and my ex." She said I could tell she was angry but I really didn't care, no one in my entire family liked her they all said she was using me for my money and I knew they were right but I was lonely and never thought i'd see Clary again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him."

"Can I meet him?"

"Did you listen to the whole interview?"

"No I did not, I listened right until you said you had a son and I turned it off."

"You don't even like kids so why would you want to meet him?"

"Well because he's your son and I feel like if we are gonna be together I should get to know him."

"I don't think his mother would approve." She said and I seen Mason get up and look around for me. "I have to go."

"Wait-" I hung up and walked back into the room.

"Where did you go?" He asked me softly.

"Just had to answer a call that's all."

"That rhymed." He said with a smile and Clary laughed.

"Is everything okay?" Clary asked.

"Yeah just normal stuff."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Mas, you shouldn't be walking you know they said you need to save your energy."

"I know mommy but I really wanna go for a walk I haven't been outside since the zoo please?" He blinked his golden eyes a few times in her direction and she smiled and nodded.

"Please if he walks hold on to him he's still really weak."

"I know Clary."

I carried Mason outside and we went and sat down on some benches since he couldn't really play he just wanted to enjoy the fresh air. "Do you still love mommy?" He asked looking at me I couldn't see his mouth because of the mask but I knew he was frowning for the sad look in his eyes.

"I loved your mother very much but I hurt her really badly before you were born."

"What did you do?"

"She never told you?"

"She didn't like talking about you."

"I guess I didn't deserve it and I definitely didn't deserve how nice she was to me when I seen her for the first time."

"I want you and mommy to be together and we can be a real family."

"Mason-"

"We live in New York, you live in Chicago, I won't ever get to see you." He said and my heart started to race i've never really thought about it that way until now I looked at him and I could see how sad he was.

"No matter what happens I will be there for you and i'll still get to see you not as much as i'd like but I will get to see you."

"So we won't get to see each other that much?"

"Unfortunately."

"Can't you just tell mommy to move to Chicago and we can all be together."

"It doesn't work that way Mason."

"I know…" He said and I could tell there was something on his mind.

"Is there something else you wanted to say?"

"I want you to promise me something."

"O-okay."

"If I die-"

"You're not."

"If I die, promise you will take care of mommy for me."

"Mason-"

"Just promise me." He said and my eyes got watery but I nodded.

"I promise."

 **Clary's Pov**

Mason and Jace came back in the room and the nurse took him to get some test done, Jace was staring at me I finally couldn't stand it. "What? Why do you keep looking at me?"

"I want joint custody when he's in remission I want him to know I will be in his life."

"Jace-"

"No Clary I want him to-"

"I didn't put you on his birth certificate."

"What?"

"You hurt me Jace and I never wanted my son to feel that way so I just left you out if it, you have no legal rights to get joint custody."

"So you're saying you hold the power over me if I get to see him or not?"

"I'd never do that to him or you i'm saying that you need to establish paternity before we can agree on custody."

"So I can have joint custody?"

"You can get him in the summer and when you are in New York you can take him."

"We can talk about all of this at a later time i'm just telling you I want to be in his life."

"I know you do."

"And in yours."

"Jace-"

"One date that's all i'm asking for."

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I still love you."

"Don't do that."

"Clary-"

"The last time you said you loved me you broke up with me because you wanted to become famous and sleep with whores you got your wish."

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"You made your bed now sleep in it."

"This isn't how I wanted this to go."

"Then prove to me, be a man and show me that you have changed that the second things don't go your way how do I know you will stay? I don't because that's what you do best Jace you run away and if that's how it will be you can just leave because I will not put my son through that."

"I will do anything to make you see that i'm not that guy anymore I love you Clary I really do and I want to be with you."

"Why don't I believe you then?" Before he could respond the nurse wheeled Mason back in and I didn't want him to see Jace and I fighting so I smiled and kissed his head and Jace helped him back into bed.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah bubba?"

"I'm hungry."

"You are?"

"Yeah."

"Does this mean you're gonna eat real food?"

"Yeah." He said with a huge smile and I pulled him to me.

"How long has it been since you ate real food?"

"A very long time." He said and I smiled.

"I love you Mas."

"I love you too mommy."


	8. Chapter 8 A Turn For The Worse

**I'm sorry it's taken so long for this chapter but thank you for bearing with me as this month has been crazy but I should be able to start getting chapters out once a week maybe more but I am not giving up on this story... Little warning this chapter is sad because it's setting up for some up coming chapters**

 **Jace's Pov**

Two months I have been in the hospital sitting with Mason as he got chemo and fought for his life, I don't know how Clary did this all alone for two years, I felt like I was going to break down after two weeks, seeing him go through this was hard, last week they had to put him on a breathing machine because he was having difficulties breathing and and then his heart stopped I never felt that in my entire life the pain and panic I went through in those moments before I heard the steady beeps of his heartbeat again, Clary and I stayed in the room one of us was always in the room and if the other needed to leave we would switch we didn't want him to be alone. I heard someone whimper I sat up and seen Mason was awake he looked at me with his big golden eyes looking at me he was tapping the tube that was going into his mouth I quickly stood up and practically ran to the nearest nurse to tell them he was awake and wanted it out.

"Mason.." I heard Clary say so softly that I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

Once they finally got everything out off of him after doing some test he was looking around the room he still hadn't said a word but then he looked over to Clary. "I was so tired mommy, I just wanted to sleep but i'm not done yet." He said and Clary started to cry as she moved closer to me and pulled him to her kissing his bald head.

"I love you so, so, so much. Mommy knows how tired you are Mas I know." He started to breath a little hard and Clary leaned over and got a mask and put it over his head. "It's okay to be tired I know how hard you have to fight. It's okay baby boy." She leaned down and whispered something in his ear and he lifted his hand up slowly and brushed his hand through her hair ever so slightly.

He fell asleep against her his heavy breathing and the steady monitor beeping was the only thing keeping me at peace right now. I wanted to say something to Clary but I didn't know what, I could only look at her as she held our son. I didn't know what to do if anything happened to him, being here and getting to know him it seemed like this was the new normal, but if he was to leave I don't know how I can manage having to bury such a beautiful and handsome little boy. Who hadn't even had the chance to live, he's been in a hospital for most of his life this wasn't a way for someone to live let alone a kid. I always thought about having kids and never in my wildest dreams would the scenario have ever played in my head, I use to dream what it would be like if Clary and I did ever have kids, i'd want to live in a big house with a few animals and have our kids running around all playing together swimming laughing having a good time, not having to worry about cancer or anything bad everything would be happy and we would all be okay.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Mason started to couch I didn't want to think about the fact that this could be the end, that soon my son could be dead, the word was ugly in the silence I couldn't take it I stood up and left the room I didn't want to think about him dying I went outside and sat down on the bench I looked up at the sky as tears started to fall.

"You know i've never been a religious type but I have no other option here, he's a good little boy and I don't know why you are doing this to him but please don't take him I don't know what i'd do without and I know I have only known him for a short amount of time but he is Clary's life, her reason for living and if he were to- she'd never be the same… Please we need him." I said and dropped my head.

Just then a camera flashed and I looked up to see a guy with a camera but when he seen me crying he looked sad himself. "Can I come over?" He asked and I shrugged. "Look i'm not a dick okay? I'm not camping out here trying to get a picture of you." He said and I looked at him. "Okay maybe I am, but it's for a good reason?"

"Meaning?"

"You'll understand one day."

"What does that even mean?" I asked but all I could hear was beeping and then someone pushed me I jolted up. _I was dreaming_?

"Clary?"

"Are you alright you were talking in your sleep."

"Yeah i'm okay. How is he?"

"He's okay stable for now thankfully."

"Good, how are you holding up?"

"You'd think i'd say something like i'm use to it by now but seeing him like that it's like a piece of me dies a little every time I see something like that happen and it's just so hard to see him fight so hard for what? Nothing is getting better and it's killing me Jace, I want my son to be okay I don't want him to be in pain anymore even if that means-"

"Hey don't even think about it, he will be okay Clary he will live to a ripe old age, please don't give up on him."

"I'm just tired of seeing him in pain."

"I know you are baby so am I but please have faith in him."

"I will always have faith in him until my very last breath I will know he tried his hardest no matter what happens."


	9. Chapter 9 Date Night

**I'm sorry I haven't updated recently a lot has been going on but i'm back and ready to get back on track with more frequent updates.. This chapter is short but the next one will be longer**

 **Jace's Pov**

Mason's birthday was coming up in a month my little man was gonna be six and I wanted it to be perfect this is the first time celebrating a birthday was actually special for me again, after Clary and I split it's like everything went downhill. I would always pick her up early in the morning and then we would spend the day doing random things that she wanted to do most of the time it was me watching her paint or going to the movies. After we broke up I stopped celebrating my birthday there wasn't really any point when the one person I wanted to spend the day with was gone and out of my life and it was all my fault.

I was sitting outside looking up at the dark sky when my phone rang I groaned when I seen who was calling me. "What do you want Amanda?"

"Okay I get it alright you two have a kid together but-"

"I asked you to stop talking to me. Did you get out of my house like I told you?"

"Well yeah but-"

"There is no buts I already told you I was done I can't do this anymore with you."

"Is it because of _her_?"

"It was over way before Clary came back into the picture, I need to make myself into a better man before I can even try and get her back."

"Come on Jace we made a good team the paparazzi loved us together."

"I have bigger things to worry about."

"Jace-"

"Don't call me again."

"Jace!"

"I'm serious I will change my number if you call again." I said and hung up I thought I would of felt bad but it felt amazing I have wanted to do that for so long but everyone kept telling me being in a serious relationship was good for my image I was just happy it was done. I got up and went back into Mason's room he was asleep and so was Clary. He hasn't been awake for very long in the past weeks he barely can talk right now and it kills me, I kissed his head and laid down letting sleep come.

"So we meet again." The same guy I had a dream about before said and sat down beside me.

"It's like a nightmare on loop…"

"Now now Herondale." He said and looked at Mason. "Do you believe in miracles?"

"Mi-miracles?"

"That's what I said right?"

"Well I guess…."

"How about god you believe in him?"

"I want to wake up…"

"He's fighting really hard-"

"Come on wake up, wake up!" I said slapping myself.

"He doesn't want to be sick anymore."

"Shut up."

"Jace-"

"Shut up!"

"JACE!" I jumped up and bumped my head into Clary's "Ouch."

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that question."

"I was having a bad dream that's all…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really…"

"Want to go get coffee?"

"Yeah I don't want to go back to sleep."

We went down to the cafeteria and got breakfast and coffee. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Positive."

"Jace-"

"Can I take you out tonight?"

"Jace-"

"It's not a date or anything like that… I feel like being in here it's suffocating me and I need to get out for a night I called Isabelle she's coming and will stay with Mason and if he needs us we can come back I just want one night."

"Where will we go?"

"Dinner, movie, and a hotel."

"A hotel?"

"To actually sleep through the night and not get up everytime he makes a noise you need this more then me." I said she looked at the ground and then back at me and gave me a small smile before nodding her head.

"Okay, if you tell me what your dreams are about?"

"Nothing…."

"This is the second time you woke up like that we all have nightmares sometimes Jace and especially being here it's-"

"I know I haven't known Mason his entire life but he's _my_ son _my_ flesh and blood and even though i've only known him for a while I cannot imagine my life without him and I see him fighting for his life I see a weak little boy but then I look at you and I see a mother who remembers him being strong and healthy and I want that I want to know what he's like when he's not like this and it kills me…."

"You will get to see him like that he's a Herondale and if there's one thing I know about Herondale's is that they don't give up easily."

"We should get back…."

"Yeah."

 **Mason's Pov**

I was feeling a little better today I still couldn't stay awake for very long but when mommy and daddy told me auntie Izzy was coming I made it my own goal to stay awake because I had something I wanted to talk to her about. "How are you today Mas?" Izzy asked she was staying with me while daddy took mommy out i'm happy she's getting out of here for awhile she's been to afraid to leave because of me.

"Tired…"

"Do you want to take a nap?"

"All I do is sleep, i'm not allowed out of bed because i'm too weak right now."

"I know it must suck being in bed all day and night."

"Sometimes…" I started breathing heavily. "It doesn't….Daddy...and I play games…..and…. we make up jokes." My eyes wanted to close but I wouldn't let them.

"You know they love you so much." Izzy said kissing my head she's afraid to everyone's scared i'll die but i'm not scared anymore i'm tired.

"Do you think mommy will be okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I die."

"You aren't gonna die Mason."

"I don't want to die but daddy once said in an interview he did that sometimes people have to go away like his mommy and daddy went away."

"That's different Mason what happened to them it wasn't- it isn't-" She stopped talking she looked sad.

"Are my mommy and daddy in love?"

"What?"

"I want them to be in love."

"Mason."

"Mommy should be happy and I want her to be happy with daddy because that will make him happy because he loves her." My eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open.

"If it's meant to be then maybe they will be together but it's up to them."

"I think i'm gonna go to sleep now."

"Alright…"

"Don't leave me okay?" I said softly closing my eyes I don't like being alone.

"As long as you don't leave me." I heard her say softly kissing my hand.

 **Clary's Pov**

"Thank you Jace I really did need this." I said once we finished dinner Jace had been quiet most of the night so I figured now would be the perfect time to talk.

"I think we both did before I came along did you ever get out of the hospital?"

"Mason is afraid of being alone so i've never left him I never wanted to leave him.."

"I'm sorry I was such a terrible person to you before I never wanted to hurt you and I know you may not believe me when I say that but I was moving away and I know how hard long distance relationships are and I couldn't- i'm not saying this right Clary I know I fucked up and I know if we weren't in this situation you would've never wanted to see me again."

"You're right if Mason wasn't sick I would of yelled at you the first time I seen you I would of told you that you had no right to try and be in his life when you didn't care what you did to me how much you hurt me. How could I have let you into my son's life? But all he has ever wanted was to know who his dad was and that his father loved him and when you meet him he was starting to give up you gave him hope for the future you motivated him to want to fight harder and I know if he makes it past this and goes into remission it will be another shot at life for Mason and I but do you really want it?"

"Want what?"

"A kid."

"I don't understand."

"You said that you wanted him in your life that you wanted joint custody but do you even know how to take care of a child?"

"Of course I do I use to babysit Max all the time."

"Babysitting and being a father are two completely different things Jace."

"I know they-"

"And he won't be weak all the time you'd actually have to do things with him."

"I know that."

"Do you really and I mean really want him?"

"I would give up everything for my family." He said softly and I knew what he meant.

"I'm tired…" I said he nodded and stood up holding his hand out for me.

We got to the hotel there was only one bed but Jace said I could take it and he'd sleep on the small sofa by the window he said I deserved to have a nice comfy bed. No matter how mad I was at him I couldn't change my feelings i've been in love with him since I was sixteen and even though he hurt me so badly he took my heart along with him and i've never really gotten it back. "Jace?" He turned around his expression curious.

"Yeah?"

"Come here." I said he raised his eyebrow but moved towards me anyway.

"Is everything okay?" I nodded. "Then what's wrong?" He asked he was standing in front of me I took a step closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me kissing him. "Clary." He pulled back shaking his head. "This wasn't what I wanted I just wanted to have fun today to get away from all the negative in the hospital."

"So you don't want me?"

"Of course I do! But you don't want me."

"You're all i've wanted." I said pulling him back to me.

"Clary please I won't be able to stop if you-" I pulled his shirt off and grabbed his pants by the belt loop bring him closer to the bed.

"I don't want to stop, I want you please."

 **So I never asked about Lemons/Smut so I just went with this... Again im sorry its taken so long to update but I will be updating soon again thanks for sticking with me!**


	10. Chapter 10 Nightmares from the past

**Jace's Pov**

Clary didn't want to tell Mason about us because she didn't want to get his hopes up if something happened between us I told her nothing would happen because she said that night was a one time thing although that didn't turn out to be completely true, Mason had finally gotten some of his strength back and for the first time in what seemed like forever he was able to get out of bed, he didn't go to far though Clary and I took him to the playroom he wasn't interested in playing though he was cuddled up to Clary he didn't want to leave her side, I tried to take him but he pushed me away. "What's wrong Mas?" Clary asked he whispered something to her she just nodded and kissed his head. "Can we go back to his room?"

"Yeah." Clary walked with him in her arms and by the time we got into his room he leaned over and threw up all over the floor and then cried because he threw up on the floor.

"It's okay Mason." I said trying to calm him down.

"I still don't feel good."

"I know you don't, how about a tummy rub?"

"Please?" He lifted his shirt up and I rub his stomach careful of his feeding tube. "Thank you daddy."

"Feel any better?"

"No."

"I know you're scared Mason so am I but you are stronger than cancer and I know you beat it."

"Will you be mad if I go to heaven?"

"I can never be mad at you Mas, sometimes people lose but they give it there all and that's what matters is that you fought as hard as you could."

"I don't want to give up but i'm tired."

Clary came back in with his nurse who took his temperature and helped him back into bed, he fell asleep holding his stuff horse when his doctor came in. "Is everything okay?"

"As you know we have started looking for a bone marrow donor."

"But?" Clary asked grabbing my hand and squeezing tightly.

"We haven't found a match yet but we are hopeful, we just wanted to let you guys know."

"Okay… Thanks…"

"Do you have any other kids?"

"Uh no…" Clary said and looked at me like I was hiding a secret kid somewhere.

"Just Mason, why do you ask?"

"Siblings are the most liable for bone marrow but we will keep you posted." He said and left Clary dropped her head against me and started to cry.

"It's okay Clary, it's okay." I kissed her head and wrapped my arms around her. "He's strong you know he is just like his mom." She pulled away from me and gave a sad smile.

"I don't know if I can say goodbye to him Jace." She said looking over at Mason who looked peacefully at ease right now.

"Stop thinking about that Clary he's going to be alright you just have to keep fighting with him."

"I am and I will for the rest of my life i'm just so scared Jace every time I hear that monitor beep I get so scared that i'm going to lose him he's my baby he's all I have and I can't lose him." I didn't know what to say so I pulled her to me and and hummed a lullaby that Mason liked her breathing slowed and I fell asleep with her against me.

"How have you been Jace?" The man asked I wanted to scream.

"And the nightmare continues."

"Now, now Jace is that anyway to talk to a friend?"

"I don't even know you! You aren't even real but yet you seem to think you are real and i'm talking to you like you're real, I must be going insane."

"You aren't going insane my son."

"Don't call me that."

"I've been watching Mason."

"Shut up."

"He's getting stronger but he still needs help."

"Don't talk about him."

"He prays every night and asks if he has to die that's okay but he doesn't want you or Clary to be sad."

"And how do you know that?" I asked helplessly.

"Because i've heard him, he doesn't want to go but he knows if he has to he will come."

"He's not going anywhere the chemo is working and they are looking for a donor and-"

"But if it doesn't come in time? Do you know how much time he has left?"

"Who are you?"

"I think we're getting off topic Jace."

"I feel like I know you but I don't remember you."

"I've always watched over you and I will always watch over your son."

"But who are you?"

"You know who I am, deep down you know."

"I-I don't know…"

"You do…."

"Daddy?" I felt someone touch me I sat up, Clary was gone and Mason was staring at me.

"Sorry bud, are you alright?"

"You were talking in your sleep it woke me up."

"I'm sorry Mas, go back to sleep."

"Where is your dad?"

"What?"

"You kept saying 'dad don't leave' where did he go?"

"H-he died when I was really young."

"Oh…. I'm sorry daddy."

"Where is mommy?"

"Her stomach was hurting and she ran to the bathroom."

"I'll be right back alright." I went and knocked on the bathroom door but Clary didn't answer. "Clary?" I knocked again but she still didn't answer. "Clary?"

The door opened and she came out giving me a small smile. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… I had an upset stomach earlier and I think I ate something bad but i'm okay now."

"Okay…."

"You haven't been sleeping much." She said putting her hand on my cheek.

"I keep having the same dream over and over."

"About Mason?"

"No well yeah it's about him but- I can't really explain it."

"You wanna know what helps me?"

"What?"

"When I cuddle with Mason it seems to make all my nightmares go away because he's right next to me." The door opened and a doctor came in who wasn't Mason's which made Clary pull away from me she looked a little scared. "Is everything okay?"

"Jace Herondale?"

"Y-yes…"

"We just wanted to thank you for your generous donation to St. Judes." I relaxed and then smiled.

"It was my pleasure."

They stayed and talked for us a little while about how much it meant to them that I donated money and when they left Clary looked at me. "How much did you donate?"

"I don't think I can thank them enough for all they have been doing for Mason so I figured i'd just donate money instead."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Why are you so curious?" I asked she shrugged.

"I just wanted to know."

 **Mason's Pov**

Mommy and daddy think i'm dumb but I see them when they think i'm sleeping, I see them hugging and holding each other I don't know why they don't want to tell me their in love maybe because they think i'll be sad or maybe it's because i'm just a kid, who knows. "Hey baby boy." Mommy said laying down beside me putting her hand on my cheek.

"Hi mommy."

"How are you feeling after your nap?"

"A lot better i'm sorry I was grumpy today."

"You don't ever have to apologize for anything Massie."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know when Uncle Alec and Uncle Magnus are gonna come visit me?"

"Soon, daddy talked to them the other day and they will be coming soon."

"Good, I miss them."

"So do I."

"Where did daddy go?"

"To the cafeteria to get something to eat are you hungry?" She asked I lifted up my dinosaur shirt and pointed to my feeding tube.

"I'm already eating." I said and mommy laughed, I liked making her laugh because she's always so sad and scared.

"Well how about something to drink my sarcastic little son?" She handed me my cup which I took.

"Mommy when i'm not sick anymore and I don't have to be in the hospital can you take me to ride the horses?"

"We can do anything you want to do when you don't have to be in the hospital anymore."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Move to be with daddy."

"Mason…"

"Please mommy? I don't want to be far far away."

"Far far away from what?" Daddy asked coming back into the room.

"From you." I said daddy looked at me confused.

"I'll tell you later," Mommy turned to look back at me. "We will talk about it later alright?"

"Okay mommy."

Later that night I heard daddy make a weird sound so I sat up and then he shot up and coughed. "Are you alright?"

"Ye-yeah…"

"You can lay with me if you want sometimes that helps mommy." I said and moved over daddy carefully moved all the wires and things that were hooked up to me away before laying down and pulling me to him. "Goodnight daddy."

"Night little man."

"I love you."

"And I love you."


End file.
